Love Actually - Christmas Pop Songs, Weekday Weddings & an Avalanche Of Characters

Happy Holidays - International Reviews, Holiday Movie Pitches & a Moment Of Sincerity

The Ref - Dive Bars, Sex Sand & a Nautical Getaway

The Long Kiss Goodnight - Alliterative Aliases, Christmas Parades & a Chipper Amnesiac

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - Ice Javelins, Cereal Varnish & a Tree In Your Nook

Rebel Without A Cause - Constellations, Chickens & a Man In An Apron

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner - Snapple Facts, Last Minute RSVPS & a Queso Fundido Emergency

Midnight Cowboy - Tutti Fruttis, Kazoo Play & a Caponata On Toast

Breakfast At Tiffany’s - Death Announcements, Rusty Trawlers & a Nice Slab of Grade-A American Beef

Scream - Squelching, Useless Curfews & a Le Creuset Armory

The ‘Burbs - Witchcraft Checks, Rolling Explosions & a Toy Poodle Named Queenie

The Secret Of NIMH - Plowing, Cat Slander & a Magical Rat Elder

Misery - Highpoint Coffee, Competent Police Work & a COCK-A-DOODY CAR

Ghostbusters - Dieting Tips, Free-Floating Weirdness & a Villainous EPA

Wall Street - Steak Tartare, Apex Predators & a Pit Of Moral Decrepitude

You’ve Got Mail - Perfect Comebacks, Insane Food Choices & a Dog Named Brinkley

Maid To Order - Dumpster Booties, Cute Racists & a Bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau

Office Space - Flair, Celebrity Name Twins & a Case Of The Mondays

Wild Things - Swamp Noir, School Fundraisers & a Waterproof Zack Morris Phone

Law Of Desire - Attractive People, Brown Derbies & an Exploding Typewriter

Dressed To Kill - Straight Razors, Sexy Showers & a Ten Minute Wordless Montage

9 ½ Weeks - Real Estate Porn, Red Flags & a Clinically Stupid Person

Basic Instinct - Ice Picks, Power Moves & a Bart Simpson Keychain

Road House - Warrior Poets, Cashed Stupidity Checks & a Masculinity Self-Own

The Mask Of Zorro - Revenge, Spanish Accents & a Horse Named Erika

Big Trouble In Little China - Puppets, Elemental Masters & a Fetching Cobalt Robe

Independence Day - Crop Dusting, Evil Squidward & a Pointless Alien Abduction Story

Maurice - Wah-JEE-nahs, Strokeable Hair & an Epidemic Of Terrible Mustaches

Chasing Amy - Fence Posts, Buy-Sexuals & a Fold-In Technique Situation

The Broken Hearts Club - Saplings, Gay Numbers & a Crunchy NSYNC Gel Thing

Bound - Character Names, Thin Walls & an Ominous Zoom In On A Redial Button

BONUS - Once In a Lifetime (with Suzanne Mattaboni)

The Legend Of Billie Jean - Invincible, Swimmin’ Holes & an Abandoned Mini Golf Course

Singles - Debbie Country, Garage Door Openers & a Prophylactic-Forward Decade

Trading Places - Croissants, Crepes Suzette & a Whole Side Of Salmon

Freeway - BJ Pricing, Bathroom Guns & a Racism Test

Mermaids - Icons, Fallen Nuns & a Perfect American Accent

Jawbreaker - Cunny Tongue, Big Sticks & an Audio Greeting Card

Lean On Me - High School Songs, High School Mascots & a Glorious Leader

Can’t Buy Me Love - Rico Suave, Paula Abdul Songs & a Vat Of Arizona Chunky Wine

Election - Juicy Fruit, Awkward Sex & an Errant Container Of Shrimp Lo Mein

Little Shop of Horrors - Peplums, Racquetballs & a Surprise Total Eclipse Of The Sun

Fame - The Body Electric, Faux-to Ricans & a Hot Lunch

Aladdin - Loyal Tigers, Kleptomaniac Monkeys & a Parrot From Queens

Grease 2 - Son of Grease, Mechanophilia & a Pillow-Lipped Adonis

The Sandlot - Indoor Kids, The Peffercorn Incident & a Never-Ending Baseball Game

Varsity Blues - The Physics of Whipped Cream, Foreshadowing & a Pig Named Bacon

Jerry Maguire - Wedding Videos, The Hunt for Hunt & a Job In San Diego

Bull Durham - Quickies, Inner Monologues & a Pitch for The Autumn Olympics

Mommie Dearest - Handling The Socks, Celebrity Assistants & a Totally Normal 5th Birthday Party

The X-Files - Coffin Flops, Hypnotherapy & a Corrupt Medical Examiner

Caddyshack - Slut Representation, Baby Ruth Bars & a Bowl of Sugared Cheerios

The Sopranos - Ducks, Gabagools & a Chode Named Nils

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial - Long Distance Parenting, Personal Cornfields & a Scrotum That Walks